Blogs are the Devil

Testing, Part 2

2011-07-01T14:10:00.003-04:00

Ok, so it's been about 3 years since I commented on this thing. Does this still show up on anyone's feeds?

Testing

2008-06-22T09:05:00.001-04:00

If you still ever go on this, post a comment.

cutting forward

2007-01-19T01:20:00.000-05:00

Tiffany and I are moving into a new place next weekend, and in said new place, we'll have internet access. Is this good? Probably not. Does this mean that I'll start blogging again? Probably not. But at least I'll start foruming again.

cutting back

2006-10-13T16:33:00.000-04:00

So Tiffany and I are thinking seriously about cutting our internet. We already cut our cable a few months ago and that's gone very well. It'll save us another $60 a month to axe the compton. However, both of us have internet access at work, so we'll still be able to go on losetouch and write email, etc.

2006-10-01T18:54:00.000-04:00

from www.wikihow.com

2006-09-13T21:40:00.000-04:00

How to Dissuade Yourself from Becoming a Blogger

What a buzz all the bloggers are making these days! It seems like just about everybody is pouring their musings into a text box. Are you feeling tempted to start a blog of your own? Here are some ways to bypass the trend.

Steps

Find five completely random blogs, and read them daily for a month. After thirty days, you will absolutely dread your self-imposed requirement to read all that dreck. Any blog you create will most likely be on par with what you've been reading. Don't put anyone through that.
Consider that your voice, even if it is truly a good one, is a tiny peep against the massive wave of tripe out there. The odds of anyone you don't already know finding your blog are low.
Write on a regular basis in Wordpad instead. If that doesn't satisfy your urge, and you feel that you must post your blog online, then you might just be craving attention and validation--which you'll never truly find in a blog. If you give up on your Wordpad journal after about three days, you'll do the same with a blog that just takes up server space.
Ask yourself if you really have the time to commit to a blog. What about that treehouse you wanted to build? Or the book you wanted to write? Or the car you wanted to fix up? Or the restaurant you wanted to take your wife to? Or the new career you wanted to pursue? Instead of writing about pretty much nothing, or whining about all the things you wish you were doing instead, start doing something that'd actually be worth writing about. And if it's really worth writing about, you'll be having too much fun doing it to tear yourself away from it.

Labor Day weekend '06

2006-09-13T17:33:00.000-04:00

A couple weeks ago we met my parents half way so that we could visit. It was good times. This was our animal pose (i'm supposed to be cleaning my head, in case that was unclear).

"And sorry I could not travel both..."

2006-09-06T12:19:00.000-04:00

All the craziness over the job has settled, for those of you who don't already know. I'm now officially the Director of the Carey House in Laconia. But, fortune has smiled (or smirked, I should say) upon me, and I was able to keep one course at LCS, which will allow me to stay connected at the school and get some of my pent up teaching out.

I already started teaching my one class, which is called Philosophy II. We'll be reading through Peter Kreeft's The Best Things in Life, as well as Descartes' Discourse on Method, just to name the first couple. I'll be stealing some ideas Shumaker gave me for how to conduct the class. We'll go through Descartes using a method called "microexegisis," which is just a flashy way to say that all of the reading will be done in class, one sentence at a time. This, of course, is not the best way to read a book (which, in terms of philosophy, is to read the whole thing quickly straight through once and then go back and re-read it carefully, looking at each individual part), but will hopefully help the students think through the text with precision. Apparently, Shumaker learned about this method more in detail when he visited Gutenberg College in Oregon last January.

You've been warned

2006-08-27T21:09:00.000-04:00

For the two of you...ok, one.

2006-08-10T15:45:00.000-04:00

Shawn will probably have me assassinated, but I'll most likely be back at the school this year. If some retired PhD wants to teach Bible at a small Christian school than it might change, but probably not.

We're off for the next two weeks to Nova Scotia, but we'll be back with pictures for the two of you who look at this site.

Here's part of an article my pastor wrote in one of his weekly email updates:

Obviously, the reason for having a book table is to encourage our congregation to be reading good books. Such an encouragement is necessary because reading is an activity that is “at risk” in our culture. As many cultural observers have pointed out, the dominant influence of television, the internet, video games, etc. clearly indicate that we have transitioned away from being a word-based culture to being an image-based culture. This is far more significant than we may realize. Words communicate differently than images, and those whose participation in the world is primarily image-based will inevitably develop a different way of viewing the world, as well as a different sort of character.

Reading is an activity that requires discipline, an active use of the imagination, delayed gratification, and a willingness to set aside one’s own concerns in order to understand what someone else wants to convey to us. On the other hand, image-based activities such as television and video games cultivate a passive use of the imagination, shortened attention spans, and the demand for entertainment and instant gratification. Another way of putting this is to say that, while words are able to convey objective content, images are received much more subjectively. As a result, when the image overtakes the word as the dominant mode of communication in a particular culture, that culture becomes increasingly relativistic and individualistic. As Ken Myers writes “A culture that is rooted more in images than in words will find it increasingly difficult to sustain any broad commitment to any truth, since truth is an abstraction requiring language.”

Tiffany's birthday party!

2006-08-10T08:38:00.000-04:00

Poor adults vs. Rich kids

2006-08-02T10:03:00.000-04:00

I guess Shawn and I don't blog anymore.

Update: I've been working at the homeless shelter for a little over a month, I believe. It's been a great experience. It's a much more connected form of helping people than teaching. I help people find jobs and get the services they need. Just yesterday I hooked one of the residents up with parenting classes from a local Christian organization. This could change her whole life, for all I know. The change is physical and in sight. Of course teaching is shaping minds, but you always wonder how much good it's actually doing. I was shocked by many of the low grades on Final Exams last year. It made me wonder whether I was the only one who learned anything all year. And the best thing about working in the shelter...when I'm done with work, I'm done with work.
And the Salvation Army wants me to stay. They'd pay me a bunch more and I'd get full benefits, inluding retirement. It's tough to turn it down, but I think it's too late in the summer to tell my principal that I'm not coming back. Even April may have been too late.

gospel

2006-07-08T17:16:00.000-04:00

Another reason to not be jealous of teachers is that they typically have full time jobs in the summer.

I got a job working as the temporary Shelter Director of the Laconia Salvation Army "Carey House," which is one of the only homeless shelters in the county. They recently had to fire their previous Director and the S.A. captain was looking for a temporary replacement so that he wouldn't have to hire someone he didn't really want out of desperation. I just had my first day on Friday and it went very well. It's fairly stressful because there's so many issues people have, but I enjoy working with people, so it worked. Also, the pay is very good, especially for a 5 week position. The base salary is $2 higher than the sales job.

2006-07-06T00:05:00.000-04:00

i didn't get the farm job. i'm very disappointed. i remember eddy did a sermon about disappointment for teen campers at the campground from 2 corinthians 4. what'd he say again??

Summer Job

2006-07-04T10:18:00.000-04:00

I understand that people are jealous of teachers. In some regards, they have every right. We get off work at 3pm, we have several vacation weeks throughout the year, and then the real kicker, we get 10 weeks off during the summer months. It's a sweet gig and I can't complain. On the other hand, people have every right to pity us. We (new teachers, at least) work well over 60 hours a week. Sometimes way over that. Many teachers are quick to point out (and rightly so) that they work as many hours in the nine months as most people work in a whole year. And the truth is that most teachers that are worth their hire are also working in the summer 10 weeks, either another job or on curriculum or research for the upcoming school year. Oh yeah, and teachers get paid crap.

I'm looking for a summer job and have not had tons of luck so far. I had two jobs in my back pocket for a while, but have had to turn them both down. One was working for a local mortgage company in sales. The pay could have been ridiculously good, but I really didn't feel comfortable getting into that again. Not that I think all sales jobs are evil (you heard me, Shawn), but in that particular environment I would have had trouble working hard and "unto the Lord." I also had to turn down a painting job because we only have one car and the job site was 45 minutes away.

My most recent hope came yesterday when I visited a local farm called "Smith Farm." Farm work is really what I've been wanting to do for several years now, so I really hope that it happens. And $10 an hour is a lot more than I would have assumed I could have gotten for farm work...

I'll keep you all updated.

Tampa 2006!

2006-07-02T17:35:00.000-04:00

Now and again I'll meet up with a friend or an acquaintance who I haven't seen in a long while. Whenever that happens, I feel at a complete loss to "catch up" with them. How can you catch someone up on years (or really even months) of your life? That's a little bit how I feel about catching anyone up on our gettogether in Tampa. There's just too much that happened. Too many conversations, too many good meals, too many prayers, too many tears, too many laughs. I'm not a good enough writer to do it justice.

To all of you who were able to make it, thank you. Thank you for one of the most enjoyable weeks of my life. To those of you who couldn't make it, New England 2007!!

2006-06-21T17:40:00.000-04:00

2006-06-20T16:06:00.000-04:00

That time has come. My head has been shaved.

2006-06-19T20:01:00.000-04:00

This is my weirdo brother-in-law on the right. And cousin-in-law on the left. They are gay.

Boston trip with Phil

2006-06-18T12:51:00.000-04:00

This is me right before I left for the trip. I'm very excited to spend the weekend with Phil.

Phil loves everything and everyone. P.S. That's Bassett and Mandy.

Phil is happy. Bassett is handicapped. Mandy is drunk.
There we are at "Ned Devine's." It only took us about 45 minutes to get our table there. I promise you that they have the world's worst hostess.

2006-06-18T12:48:00.000-04:00

This is Phil on the computer whoring himself out to his beloved corporation.

I put this picture out of order. This is the incredible Clam Chowder that I had at Ned Devine's. It won some "Best Chowder" award in 2004 and 2005. Although we all agreed that they made up the contest.

This is our view from outside the hotel. Thanks to Phil, that's the nicest hotel I'll ever stay in.

2006-06-18T12:40:00.000-04:00

Smokers go to hell. It's really a logical next step.

This is where Phil and I had some half-way decent pizza on our way to Boston Commons. Some of you may remember that as the place we played frisbee at my bachelor party.
I believe Phil is whistling "We are the Champions."

This is at a very famous graveyard (also on the way to the Commons). All of the men murdered in the Boston Massacre (which is sort of a misnomer since only about 4 people died) were buried here as well as Paul Revere. This guy was a tour guide of sorts explaining all of the historical inaccuracies of Longfellow's "The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere." Phil is terribly impressed.

2006-06-18T12:38:00.000-04:00

We watched a sweet little league game once we got to the Commons. Strangely enough, this was the second little league game we've watched together in our lifetimes. It was the Cardinals vs. the Tigers. Intense.

The view of the Harbor right outside the hotel.

This is where Phil and I read Eddy's post on the forum about all of us somewhat moving on from one another. It was nice that we were together when we read that.

2006-06-16T10:42:00.000-04:00

"Today is the greatest day I've ever known."
- Me, on the last day of school

Community in 17 Sensible Steps by Wendell Berry

2006-06-12T11:16:00.000-04:00

-I think there's a natural tendency we have to preach to the choir. The choir is much more sympathetic. Sometimes I doubt the sincerity of people when they listen to someone with the exact same views as them and then say, "Wow, that was really convicting. I really needed that." Maybe they're being honest, but usually those statements are reserved for when someone tells you something you really are not comfortable hearing. So I'd like to assure you of my sincerity when I tell you that the following list written by a guy I tend to agree with was very convicting. If I agree with this stuff, why won't I act on it? My comments are included here, but should not be compared with the prose of Mr. Berry.-

"How can a sustainable local community (which is to say a sustainable localeconomy) function? I am going to suggest a set of rules that I think such acommunity would have to follow. I hasten to say that I do not understandthese rules as predictions; I am not interested in foretelling the future.If these rules have any validity, it is because they apply now.Supposing that the members of a local community wanted their community tocohere, to flourish, and to last, they would:

1. Ask of any proposed change or innovation: What will this do to ourcommunity? How will this affect our common wealth?

2. Include local nature - the land, the water, the air, the native creatures- within the community.

3. Ask how local needs might be supported from local sources, including the mutual help of neighbors.

-I've had the desire for a long time now to make the overwhelming majority of my purchases from local businesses and farms. Tiffany and I do that, to an extent, but I especially haven't been proactive enough in terms of food. We buy all of our food from Shaw's and none of it from local farms.-

4. Supply local needs first (and only then think of exporting theirproducts, first to nearby cities, and then to others).

5. Understand the ultimate unsoundness of the industrial doctrine of "laborsaving" if that implies poor work, unemployment, or any kind of pollution or contamination.

6. Develop properly scaled value-adding industries for local products in order not to become merely a colony of the national or global economy.

-What does this mean? What kinds of industries would that be? And how would we develop them?-

7. Develop small-scale industries and businesses to support the local farmor forest economy.

8. Strive to produce as much of their own energy as possible.

-I don't produce anything. Absolutely nothing. I don't grow anything. I don't make anything.-

9. Strive to increase earnings (in whatever form) within the community, and decrease expenditures outside the community.

10. Circulate money within the local economy as long as possible before paying it out.

-I would say that 99% of the things I purchase ship money out of our local economy. How does this affect my decision even to purchase books from Amazon.com? In that instance, I feel somewhat justified because we don't really have a local bookstore. Maybe opening my own local bookstore would be a start?-

11. Invest in the community to maintain its properties, keep it clean (without dirtying some other place), care for its old people, and teach its children.

12. Arrange for the young and the old to take care of one another, eliminating institutionalized "child care" and "homes for the aged." The young must learn from the old, not necessarily and not always in school; the community knows and remembers itself by the association of old and young.

13. Account for costs that are now conventionally hidden or "externalized." Whenever possible they must be debited against monetary income.

14. Look into the possible uses of local currency, community-funded loan programs, systems of barter and the like.

-Where would I go to look into this?-

15. Be aware of the economic value of neighborliness - as help, insurance, and so on. They must realize that in our time the costs of living are greatly increased by the loss of neighborhood, leaving people to face their calamities alone.

16. Be acquainted with, and complexly connected with, community-minded people in nearby towns and cities.

17. Cultivate urban consumers loyal to local products to build a sustainable rural community, which will always be more cooperative than competitive."

-Wow. What would a "cooperative" economy look like? Competition is how we've been taught to think of economics.-

>From a speech delivered November 11, 1994, at the 23rd annual meeting of theNorthern Plains Resource Council.

Oh what a foretaste of glory divine...

2006-06-12T08:40:00.000-04:00

9 days 'til Tampa 2006. I can't wait.

This past weekend Tiffany and I drove 2 1/2 hours down to Sturbridge, Mass to visit Nate and Lauren. It was a sort of foretaste of Friend's Week. The funny thing was that Tiffany had planned this cool surprise and didn't tell me until Thursday night. What she didn't tell me was that Phil "that's right" Storer was also going to be there. Very, very exciting. It was one of the best weekends I've experienced for some time now.

Highlights:

- Friday night. Just the five of us sitting around the living room of the Hand's sweet, sweet house, talking, listening to Nate, Phil, and Lauren play the guitar (Lauren busted out a bunch of Beatles tunes...awesome), sitting on the rug in front of the fire. It was peaceful. Everyone was comfortable with long silences. There was good conversation and friendly banter. It was everything I love about our friends group.

...Saturday morning stunk. I had to drive 3 hours back home to go to Graduation for an hour and then drive all the way back. However, the highlight was getting to listen to the first 3 cds in N.T. Wright's "Romans in a Week" series from Regent.

- Saturday night. Phil and I had a really good talk outside of Enrico's brick oven pizza. We talked about his lack of desire for academic study and my triple desire for kids, a house, and grad school. And then of course when we got back to the house Nate and Phil played the guitar and sang songs about each other's moms.

- Sunday morning. Nate skipped church and we hung out on his porch for most of the morning with the sun on our faces, overlooking the lake and Nate's septic tank.

One of the things I really enjoyed about the weekend was that we weren't always together the whole time. Sometimes it would be Phil and I, other times it would be Nate, Tiffany and I, sometimes just Nate and I. And for most of Saturday I wasn't around at all, so Tiffany got to hang out with all of them.

Alright Friends Week, bring me some more of that sweet friendsy goodness.

In other news, we hate our digital camera and are going to have to figure out a way to return it to Andorama.com. Should be interesting.

Oh yeah, and this week is Finals week, so if you want to contact me, I'll be sitting on my porch, grading.

And thank you to Tiffany for suprising me not only with a weekend at Nate's, but also for organizing a little birthday gettogether at her parents house on Sunday. What a lucky guy I am...

joce and mr. bassett on senior banquet night

2006-06-08T22:48:00.000-04:00

School and grad school.

2006-06-05T19:54:00.000-04:00

Today was a nice day. The seniors are gone and this makes me very happy. I wish that it didn't, but it does. Not only do I not have to deal with their attitudes, but it means that I don't have to prepare for 4th period and so, of course, I have an extra period free. Only two more weeks of school left!

In other news, Tiffany and I have been giving some thought to grad school for me. There's so many difficult questions, though. If I did go to grad school, would we have to move? Would we go to Boston, etc. or would I just take correspondance courses? Or could I possibly pull of one of those 'go for the summer' programs? That seems only possible if Tiffany were a teacher and had the summers off. If I went to grad school, would I go back to LCS afterwards or would I want to go somewhere that could actually pay me a living wage (we do want to have kids sometime, after all)? Do I need grad school to have a financial payoff for it to be a wise decision?
Then there's the whole question about kids. I really don't want to wait much longer, and if we actually moved for me to go to grad school, then we'd be looking at at least another 3 - 4 years or more before we could think about having children. That almost makes up my mind right there. And what about commitment to place? Am I just going to give that up because I want some more education? Of course the point would be to better myself in a different place and then bring those skills back here, but still... I know I want to teach, but I think the small, Christian school is exactly what I want and if I spent all that money on grad school, wouldn't I need to have a better way of paying it back?...especially if I ever want Tiffany to be able to stay at home with the kids. Decisions, decisions...

My night tonight: creating the final exam for Philosophy II...and watching the Red Sox/Yankees game.

Bachelor Party - May 2004

2006-06-04T04:07:00.000-04:00

Why haven't I posted this stuff earlier?!

2006-06-04T03:41:00.000-04:00

This guy right here is my friend Ryan. He's a good person. I'd like to learn to be like him someday.

Emergent Smergent

2006-06-03T09:27:00.000-04:00

Currently reading this book. My Mom bought it for me. It's in that Emergent church genre, which has it's upsides and downsides.

Here's some stuff I wrote to my Mom about this movement:

So yeah, I'm really into the various kinds of things involved in the movement - an emphasis on social justice (which a lack of seems to me to be almost the primary indictment on the Israelites in the Prophetic books), honest concern for people's physical needs (as well as spiritual needs...we don't want to overreact, of course), the reestablishment of community and geographical proximity, etc.

Although, part of me is quite leary of the Emergent movement. I always have a fear of reactions. It seems rare that reactions, at least corporate reactions, don't become over reactions. I have an overall distrust of movements, anyway, I think. And yet, paradoxically, I find myself longing to be part of a movement of people (and not just young people, which may be another reason I'm leary of movements) passionate about bringing Christ's Way to the world.

Here are my initial thoughts about some of the fears you have about this movement:

1. Concerning the fact that the majority of this group seems to be made up of post-college folks: This also concerns me. It seems to me that any "community" movement that leaves behind both the old and the young is not truly establishing community. If the youth are not informed by previous generations, they are living hand to mouth, so to speak. My guess is that most of the people in the movement would agree with these sentiments, but if they all leave behind their traditional churches, I'm not sure many from the older generations will follow them.

2. Regarding the fact that the majority of this group seems to be made up of "intellectuals": It seems to me that no real revolutions have come about in society except by those labeled "intellectuals." An exception may be the occassional peasant/slave revolts that occur in societies, but in general it seems as though REform is brought about by those who have an idea about the correct FORM. In other words, it seems like real change usually rests on the shoulders of those who have greater knowledge concerning the way things ought to be. I don't know a way around this.

Plato believed that philosophers should be kings because they were the ones who could see the truth the best. Would we want to be part of an unintellectual movement?

You said this: "I just like to love people and do good not evil all the days of my life. Not that heady. I like to learn theology and I like to learn more so I can know what is good and what is destructive i.e. evil..."

This is exactly right, I think. Any reform movement that isn't intellectual runs the risk of acting without understanding, which is the most dangerous combination.

However, I do see the strong need to not alienate those who are not "thinkers." But this actually seems to me to be one of the strengths of the movement. There seems to be a desire to reach everyone - the young, the old, the poor, the dirty, the intellegent, the uneducated. In fact, the universal nature of the mission is part of what attracts me to these kinds of folks. They're willing to get their hands dirty.

2006-05-22T00:46:00.000-04:00

almost 1am. still doing homework. somebody kill me, please. pretty, pretty please.

on a less suicidal note, now that we are officially into may 22, tiffany and i have offically been married for two years!! yay!! don't kill me, i'm too busy running through the fields of joy!!

another lament.

2006-05-21T09:35:00.000-04:00

i forgot to mention the sad, sad news. elliott is gone. i fought hard for him. i voted until the sweat dripped down my face. i would demand a recount, if i could. i really am sad that he's not coming back. it's like losing an old friend. i suppose it's not surprising that a half jew, half iraqi would not fair well on an american tv show, but the only thing elliott could have been accused of is crucifying my hard heart, flying a plane into my weary soul.

goodbye elliott. i'll miss you.

johnny vs. ray

2006-05-20T10:35:00.000-04:00

last night we went over to ryan's ridiculously sweet house and watched Walk the Line in his movie theater (no, seriously. he has a movie theater in his house). i thought that the most enjoyable aspect of the movie was watching Joaquin Pheonix's impersonation of Johnny Cash. it was uncanny how well he was able to imitate Johnny's voice, especially. he really sang his songs quite well.

the movie was clearly well made, but it didn't really move me. i cared about Johnny, but not really all that much. he was kind of a bum i sympathized with his wife and children more than i sympathized with him. in a sense i didn't want him to marry June, i wanted him to go back to his wife, even though Reese Witherspoon played the part excellently and was very likeable.

i thought the movie was similar to Ray with the excellent impersonation, the crazy rock star life, the drug use, the sex with teenage fans, etc., but i think i may have liked Ray better. which is odd considering that i'm much more interested in Cash's life story than Ray Charles'.

12 Marks of a New Monasticism

2006-05-19T12:20:00.000-04:00

1) Relocation to the abandoned places of Empire

2) Sharing economic resources with fellow community members and the needy among us

3) Hospitality to the stranger

4) Lament for racial divisions within the church and our communities combined with the active pursuit of a just reconciliation

5) Humble submission to Christ’s body, the church

6) Intentional formation in the way of Christ and the rule of the community along the lines of the old novitiate.

7) Nurturing common life among members of intentional community.

8) Support for celibate singles alongside monogamous married couples and their children.

9) Geographical proximity to community members who share a common rule of life.

10) Care for the plot of God’s earth given to us along with support of our local economies.

11) Peacemaking in the midst of violence and conflict resolution within communities along the lines of Matthew 18.

12) Commitment to a disciplined contemplative life.

Some great stuff here. Each one of these points deserves quite a bit of thought.

jesse remington high school

2006-05-18T18:36:00.000-04:00

yesterday i went to jesse remington high school to take a look at their Humanities program. my principal would like to see us move in that sort of direction - more of the classical model. however, the Humanities program was not what i was really impressed by. their school provides something called "project based learning," which is basically just a fancy way of saying that the first half of their day are normal classes and the second half consists of projects only. this quarter they have three projects running: pottery, computer programming, and timber framing.

the timber framing project lasts all year. they start at the beginning of the year planning it all out using some sort of CAD (Computer Aided Design) program and they work on it for a while until everything is ready to go. then the students in that project take a few days off school and go and put it up on whatever site it was designed for. by the time these kids get out of the school, they could build a barn by themselves. one of the kids was currently timber framing himself a bed.

here are a few of the barns they've built:

in my mind the two best educational models are either the classical model, which is built on the 7 liberal arts, or the practical model, which is more like an apprenticeship. in the classical model, learning is pursued for its own sake without a particular skill in view. the practical model seeks to provide students with a particular vocational skill(s). it seems to me that the current american model is somewhere in the middle of those two without the real benefit of either. our students cannot really demonstrate proficiency in the liberal arts nor do they have any practical skills in which to beautify the world.

don't you ever wish that you could go back and re-do your education?

2006-05-14T09:02:00.000-04:00

i don't feel motivated to blog these days. i guess this kick isn't going to last long.

notable recent days:

wednesday - had some peeps over for dins. we had a good time. we ate dinner and watched the colbert report and american idol. what a community we're starting! i realized that tiffany is about the best host in the world. basically every meal she makes is pure gold and she isn't always talking or dominating the conversation, but whenever she does say something, it's usually very insightful or funny. it'd be a good idea for me to be more like her. chris got kicked of AI. this makes me happy. the three that i wanted left standing are: elliot, katherine, and taylor. elliot for president.

saturday - i had to go to the school from 9-1 for an open house. not cool. especially since almost no one showed up. it was raining pretty hard all day, so people were not in an out and about mood. but there was a really nice service at the end in which they dedicated the improved elementary building to the old principal, mr. borchers and his wife kathy. that made it a bit more worthwhile. the rest of the day we were out and about shopping for mother's day things. last night on snl, during weekend update, one of the jokes was "tomorrow is mother's day. so pick up the phone, call your mother, and put out that fire." i could talk for a long time about why that joke is both very funny and very sad, but also very true.

today - i'm going to go to church. grace presby. we'll see if i can get tiffany up for it. all signs point to 'no.' then we're having tiffany's family over for some mother's day festivities.

a cloud is over my life. it's called class preparation. it's a weight that takes much of the joy out of everything i do.

i need to get one of the "currently listening to" options on this blog. those are fun. i'm currently listening to michael buble. if you know what's good for you, you'll download his songs "for once in my life," "home," "come fly with me," and "that's all." if you don't know what's good for you, you'll keep listening to the pussycat dolls.

2006-05-05T15:52:00.000-04:00

i've got a few minutes while i wait for my wife to get out of work. unfortunately, i don't have a few thoughts. anything you read below is going to be pure rambling.

just got back two nights ago from the old senior class trip, which would probably be a whole lot more interesting for all/both of you if i could post pictures. should i get a digital camera?

ok, that's it.

2006-04-29T09:58:00.000-04:00

today is the last day of my vacation. well, sort of. i'm now headed to a second vacation - the senior class trip in Florida. but honestly, i'm not really looking forward to it. the seniors are an extremely moody group. monday could be great and tuesday could be pure hell. or monday could be pure hell and tuesday could be pure hell. this first part of my vacation was what i was really looking forward to. i had big plans, as you can see a few posts down. i'm not even going to tell you what i actually accomplished from that list. wow, i suck so bad.

please send prozac.

so today is my final day and i'm feeling incredible pressure to get a lot accomplished before i leave. the problem is that i have a wedding to go to in about two hours. oddly enough, it's my first step-dad's third wedding...should be interesting.

i'll email you my address, if you have any to spare.

are blogs the devil? - part II

2006-04-26T10:40:00.000-04:00

i had a good talk with shawn last night about blogging. it seems that the forum is dying. maybe it has been for a while. or maybe it's not dying, but going through some temporary lapse that will be resolved soon. it definitely goes through ups and downs. but why is it struggling? is it because we're all just growing farther apart and so we're less motivated to communicate? or is it something about that form of communication itself?

the benefit of the blog is that you can write about things you would never write on the forum. you don't just give 'here is what i'm up to today' kinds of posts on the forum, but you can do that on a blog. i feel as though i've been able to keep closer contact with shawn since we've been reading each other's blogs for the past couple of weeks (although, we've talked on the phone, too, so i'm sure that helps).

i've been listening to a mars hill audio cd lately (volume #75, to be exact. by the way, you people should subscribe to this. it's incredible. the topics of conversation are always fascinating and you end up being introduced to new ideas and new books that you'd probably never hear about otherwise. and if you're an auditory learner, like i think i am, listening to the journals is a really excellent way to learn and think.) and i was listening to an interview about the importance of language in being truly human. basically the guy was saying that having a particularized vocabulary* and having a fluent linguistic ability is essential in not only being able to precisely communicate with others, but also in being able to think fully about the world. he then went on to point out that communication technologies often have the tendency to dumb down language and communication. IM would be a fairly obvious example of this.

the question would then become: do blogs dumb down communication? i suppose the best way to answer that would be that they could. because of the speed by which you can type (which is part of wendell berry's argument for hand-writing all of his books) it is much easier to simply crap out words. it would be difficult to argue that the existance of e-mail has increased the quality of writing in the modern age. but it does not necessarily have to do that, right? i could conceivably put as much time and care into a blog entry as i could writing a hand-written letter (although the physical nature of a hand-written letter would make it much more personal and human, i would think). there have been stories of war prisoners who have been able to have significantly meaningful communication with their comrads only through a series of knocks on the prison walls. if meaningful communication can happen that way, surely it can happen online. so although the dangers of this kind of communication should not be ignored (which most people probably do), i don't necessarily think i should scrap it.

i think my idealism is fading with age.

*an interesting point that he made was that thinking Christians sometimes have the tendency to shy away from using particularized Christian language because it comes off like "Christianese," but that while we want to avoid cliches, having a language that is unique and not like the world's language is an important part of being counter-cultural Christians. that precise and theologically founded language (when it is not just empty cliches) actually helps our Christianity to be much more full and meaningful.

2006-04-25T17:49:00.000-04:00

so my wife is thinking of starting a blog. any suggestions on what her blog address should be? and any suggestions on which kind of blog she should get (livejournal, blogspot, typepad, etc.)?

in my last prideful post i meant to write a little more about the content of the conversation we had with mike. one of the things that stood out is the difficulty in knowing what to do when you decide you really want to move forward in your Christian journey.

here are a couple options, i suppose:

read your bible more. it's obviously an important part in being a follower of Jesus to read the words of His prophets and apostles (and the other random writings thrown in there), but, in a way, i wonder how much good that does people unless they're really getting educated in the Scriptures. but i realize that, at the end of the matter, it's just the right thing to do. but even if i were to encourage someone to do that, how would i encourage them? "hey, read your bible more."

go to church. here's another winner, but i'm not exactly sure what good would really come from this, either. there's always this idea that church isn't just for you, but it's also a place for you to worship and give. i think this mentality is exactly right. but the problem is that most churches really only give someone a bench to sit on for an hour a week. unless the sermons really teach, what good is church most of the time? of course it doesn't have to be like that, but around here, that's pretty much all there is.

i'm too cynical. probably reading the bible and going to church is the best thing to tell someone, but for some reason, saying that would have felt so empty and false somehow. i don't know exactly why.

wow, this sounds prideful.

2006-04-24T08:50:00.000-04:00

we had tiffany's brother (mike) and grandmother (grandmama) over for dinner last night. after grandmama (yes, that's what we call her) left, tiffany and i and mike had this really meaningful talk about Christianity and church and what it means to "move forward" in your own Christianity. mike really opened up about how he feels about things. he told us that we were some of the only people he knows that are able to be Christians and still be cool. i don't know exactly what that means, but i think i kind of understand. i think it's something like being a Christian without being awkward and over-spiritual and such. so being an evangelical, pretty much.

being told that, for me, conjures up much inner denial because i know of what a bastard i am. much of my realization of what (i think) Christianity is supposed to look like does not actually translate into my everyday life. probably most of it. and, as i was discussing with krissy the other day, reminds me that much of the "progression" i've had in terms of my own Christianity has been on accident, so to speak. how much of my knowledge of the Bible and what it truly means to be a Christian is a result of a passion to know Christ and how much of it has simply been being lucky enough to be around some really great people? how much of it has just been the priviledge of having religious schooling?

and yet a conversation like last night's is also very encouraging. in hopefully not a prideful sense, i do sort of feel like i've got a pretty good grasp on the Bible and Christianity (the scary thing about that is that's also the way i felt after my first year of word of life). maybe i'll find out in eternity that i really don't (maybe i've gone too far in the other direction and am not "peculiar" enough), but i feel very priviledged to not have followed down the Christian path that so many people do.

my friend jon actually told me something similar not that long ago. something like, "how did you go through the ultra-conservative schooling and upbringing that you had and still end up having so many level-headed perspectives?" my answer to him was just that i've ended up following the paths that i've found attractive. simple as that. the super-conservative ways never seemed like attractive ways of living, so i've looked for alternatives. and ultimately those alternatives have been embodied in many of my friends and mentors. i really can't take much of the credit.

Spring Break 2006, or Wild On Lake Winnipesaukee

2006-04-22T14:22:00.000-04:00

you guys are my accountability partners.

today is the first day of my spring break and i have a nasty tendency. let me illustrate this tendency: this morning i slept in until 1pm. in my defense, i was up for a couple hours in the morning doing some reading - school reading, in fact. but nevertheless, i have the tendency to squander away my time off, whether it be a weekend off or a week off. the more time there is, the more time i waste.

i suppose it hasn't been too bad so far. last night i had several people over for poker and that was good times. i look at that kind of thing as being pretty valuable. and then this morning i did some reading for school. but trust me, if i don't purpose in my heart right now to use my break wisely, i certainly will not.

so what should i do? i've thought of making a list. that might work. the old 'here's all the stuff i want to accomplish this week' list. here's a possible rough draft:

1. spend some real quality time with tiffany. unfortunately, she's not able to come with me to florida next week on the senior class trip. : (

2. go to the gym at least four times. phil is already miles ahead of me in the "hot tampa 2006" contest.

3. have all of my classes prepped by wednesday. that would be (i mean, will be) sweet.

4. do additional research on jeremiah (for old testament) and wwi (for us history).

5. make some calls that i've been wanting to make, including my biological father, alan, who, for some reason, has called me several times in the past week or so after having called me probably three times previously in my entire life. very strange.

um...is there anything else? probably some playing basketball or tennis would be on this list if i didn't have grandma ankles. well, if you guys think of anything else, you can let me know.

2006-04-21T09:01:00.000-04:00

last day of school before spring break. awesome.

the confession.

2006-04-18T20:15:00.000-04:00

i don't think there's any reason to hide it. i must be honest. i watch american idol. every week. both the performance show and the results show. wow.

this is my boy right here: elliot yamin. do i want him to win it all? yes. do i think he will win it all? absolutely not. he's a great singer, but he really just seems like very good person. in one of the clips last week, his mom said that she was proud of him, not so much because of his singing talent, but because he is, in her words, "a good soul." i'm not gonna lie. i got a little misty-eyed.

here's the one who i think, other than taylor hicks, probably deserves to win. incredible voice and will probably do well in the mainstream market.

if you want to know how i feel about kellie pickler, go to: www.votefortheworst.com

paris bennett is awesome. if she puts out some sort of jazz standards album, i will definitely buy it. or burn it. her first audition, which can be seen here: http://www.googlx.com/idolforever/media/video/paris-bennet-audition.mov ...is amazing. i don't think she'll win, but she's definitely quite a talent.

this guy, taylor hicks, is just ridiculous. easily the best performer in the show. he'll probably win. and it would be appropriate.

chris daughtry is a favorite and i don't understand why. i'm so bored with his rocker blah blah. i hope he gets voted off soon, but i don't see that happening.

whoops. i forgot ace young. oh well, he's really not worth mentioning. he's my pick to leave this week.

i know, i know. life is too short for this. maybe i'll stop watching if i find out they have tivo in heaven.

2006-04-18T18:42:00.000-04:00

being a teacher is a strange combination of good and evil. yin and yang, if you will.

on the one hand, it's a very difficult job. your whole life is wrapped up in teaching. when you're not at school, you're preparing for classes or grading papers (if you're me, primarily preparing for classes), when you're not prepping or grading, you're calling parents or writing up students, when you're not doing that, you're at least thinking about school, reading books that will help you teach whatever subjects there are to teach, etc. and we haven't even mentioned sports yet.

on the other hand, being a teacher is cake. at least in a private school, you practically work for yourself. i mean, there are set hours you obviously need to be in school teaching, but your classroom is your domain. some teachers, of course, take this liberty way too far and slack off in their classes, but even responsible teachers concerned about the learning of the students have a tremendous amount of freedom and flexibility. even beyond the flexibility there are a lot of perks. for instance, for about a half an hour at least most days, i get to go play pick-up basketball games in the gym. and tomorrow, the 7th-12th graders are going to a minor league baseball game for the day and so that is what my whole day will consist of. pretty sweet. then there's the various weeks off (next week is our spring break) and the real kicker - 2 1/2 months off in the summer (although, most teachers have to get a different job during the summer because teachers don't make all that much, and even if they don't get a job, most good teachers spend a lot of time in the summer studying and preparing for the next school year, but that's beside the point). also, in another two weeks i'm going on the senior class trip to disney world. sure i make as much as i'd make working at wendy's and i'm completely uninsured and i have no 401k or retirement package, but hey, it's not all bad.

p.s. poker night is this friday at 7.30pm

2006-04-17T20:03:00.000-04:00

walk off homer by loretta today! and ortiz had two homers, as well. life is good.

easter

2006-04-16T10:12:00.000-04:00

Acts 10.34-43

34Then Peter began to speak: "I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism 35but accepts men from every nation who fear him and do what is right. 36You know the message God sent to the people of Israel, telling the good news of peace through Jesus Christ, who is Lord of all. 37You know what has happened throughout Judea, beginning in Galilee after the baptism that John preached— 38how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him.

39"We are witnesses of everything he did in the country of the Jews and in Jerusalem. They killed him by hanging him on a tree, 40but God raised him from the dead on the third day and caused him to be seen. 41He was not seen by all the people, but by witnesses whom God had already chosen—by us who ate and drank with him after he rose from the dead. 42He commanded us to preach to the people and to testify that he is the one whom God appointed as judge of the living and the dead. 43All the prophets testify about him that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name."

out with the old, in with the new.

2006-04-15T00:59:00.000-04:00

tonight we went to the local dance club. yep, that's right. we went with tiffany's brother and sister and her brother's roommate. it's the first time i've ever been in there and it was strange to fully realize that a place like that is in our little laconia.

i'm still in rebellion against stupid fundamentalist christianity and so i'd like to be able to think that going to a place like that is not really a problem. i would still disagree with the reasons fundies would preach against going into places like that (appearance of evil, Christians should be "set apart" from those places, etc.), but now i've got whole new reasons to not go there. i would have to ask myself, "is this really a good thing for this community? is it good for laconia to have this dance club downtown?" i'd be open to possible reasons for the answer to those questions to be "yes," but until that day comes, i can't imagine wanting to spend money to support that place's existence.

i like dancing as much as the next guy, but it seems to generally be just a meat market. people go there to find someone to hook up with, or a place to forget about the difficulties of life, or maybe just to find a sense of community. in the right context, all good things. i'm sure every person has their own reasons. i just wish that it wasn't "the funky monkey" (yep, that's seriously its name) that was there to fill that void.

if only the church was there to meet these people. if only i was there to meet these people. what makes this all the more sad is that our local baptist church, which has been an historic presence in the center of laconia since the Alamo, is leaving their beautiful downtown building in order to move to the outskirts of the city so they can build a bigger building to have more space for their various programs. the church walks away with its marvelous light while the people close their eyes and rock on.

not a perfect parallel, but it reminds me of a water color on the inside lining of the lori chaffer solo album: there's a painting of a bar right next to a church. the sign outside of the bar says "open all day." the sign oustide the church says "open sunday 11:00 - 12:00."

40

"I waited patiently for the Lord
He inclined and heard my cry
He brought me up out of the pit
Out of the miry clay

I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song

How long to sing this song?
How long to sing this song?

He set my feet upon a rock
And made my footsteps firm
Many will see
Many will see and fear

I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song

How long to sing this song?
How long to sing this song?"

-U2

2006-04-13T11:35:00.000-04:00

i'm very excited about tonight. the high school students have tomorrow off. what is ridiculous about that, though, is that they don't have it off because of Good Friday, but because some company has donated free labor to the school. they're going to paint the high school, so everyone needs to be out. so not only does the school not help promote the following of the Christian calender, but it actually promotes people working on that day.

but this means that tonight i have no school work to do. it's nice not having the pressure of classes the next day. the only problem with a night off like that is that i feel this foolish need to fill that time with some activity. if i don't "do" something during my vactions, there's always this inner sense i feel that i've wasted the time. all week i experience the pressure of preparing for classes and all i long for is a night without responsibilities where i could do nothing, but then i'm given one of those nights and i feel i must do something.

matty and i always used to talk of that silly human tendency to put our hope for the day in something other than Christ. tonight i'm putting my hope in the red sox game.

word on the street...

2006-04-11T16:39:00.000-04:00

is that people have actually been reading this thing. this excites me and concerns me. it excites me that people are actually interested enough in me and what i happen to be writing to check it. i suppose on some level it's always a good (but often selfish) feeling to have people focusing on you.

this of course means, however, that my fears i posted about before are coming true. people (myself included) are spending more time on their computers and there's all of the troubles that go along with that. this probably isn't a problem for those of you who are normal, but i have these ridiculous patterns in my "internet life." there are certain sites that i visit pretty much every time i go to my computer. if i actually sit down to a computer it is pretty much a garuntee that i'm at least going to my gmail and losetouch. that was true as of a week ago. now that i have this blog i've been consistently going to those two sites i already mentioned as well as a bunch of the blogs i have linked on this site, as well as some others, and i've found that i'm spending even more time checking losetouch, too. in other words, i'm noticing that the internet is becoming more of a time-consuming part of my life.

but alas, if i want to stay in touch with my friends, what else is there to do? we don't live in an ideal world, do we?

another strange thing about a blog is that, to some extent, it allows you the luxury of having other people read your writing without you necessarily saying anything excellently or having anything excellent to say. before the blog revolution, if you wanted people to pay attention to your writings, you either had to write a letter to specific people or you actually had to get published, which would require quite a bit of skill on your part. sorry folks. you're not gettin' any of that here.

2006-04-10T22:24:00.001-04:00

there's been some really encouraging responses to the weekly meal idea. i talked to another friend of mine named krissy, who actually told me that she was wondering when i was going to start something like this. she and her fiance might be our fourth and fifth people to join us.

another thing i'm pretty excited about is that our beloved red sox are 5 - 1 so far this season, leading the A.L. East, while our good friends the yankees are wiping up the rear at 2 - 4. excellent.

something bigger...

2006-04-09T19:46:00.000-04:00

well, if you read my post earlier this morning about church, you'd know that i want to be part of a community. i want to be a part of something bigger than myself. and i'd like for that something to be revolved around following Jesus, somehow.

tiffany and i have been discussing this type of thing and we've decided to actually take a step in that direction. we've made the simple decision that we're going to have a meal at our apartment once a week. whoever wants to come can come. that's it. it's not a huge step, but it's something. we don't know what will come of it. but we're thinking there's a good possibilty that other people around us (people we don't even know, most likely) are as dissatisfied with the fragmentation of modern life as much as we are and maybe they'd also like to be part of something communal. there's lots still to figure out, but life can't stay this way forever.

a friend of mine named ryan came over tonight (no, i'm not speaking in symbolic terms about thinking to myself or something...his name really is ryan) and we discussed this idea. he's the first person we've really seriously discussed this with and he's our first convert. we'll at least have three for a our weekly meals. it's a start.

a lament that reminds me how important every person is...

2006-04-09T09:22:00.000-04:00

"there's a hole in the world now. in the place where he was, there's now just nothing. a center, like no other, of memory and hope and knowledge and affection which once inhabited this earth is gone. only a gap remains. a perspective on this world unique in this world which once moved about within this world has been rubbed out. only a void is left. there's nobody now who saw just what he saw, knows what he knew, remembers what he remembered, loves what he loved. a person, an irreplaceable person, is gone. never again will anyone apprehend the world quite the way he did. never again will anyone inhabit the world the way he did. questions i have can never now get answers. the world is emptier. my friend is gone. only a hole remains, a void, a gap, never to be filled."

-nicholas wolterstorff, lament for a son

church

2006-04-09T08:53:00.000-04:00

tiffany and i are going to a new church today. well, not new. in fact, i've gone there many times. it's grace presbyterian, which is where my friend Rodney pastored for a long time. but the church is under new leadership, so of course the place has a different feel to it. i went last week and the preaching was amazing. he talked about the story of Jephthah in Judges. i learned a ton during the sermon, which are is a phrase that i have rarely uttered. if i were choosing a fellowship for the preaching alone, it would be an easy decision.

unfortunately, there's much more that goes into this kind of decision than that. ever since i've returned from my visit to ohio, i've been restless. visiting the landing place showed me just how rich a life church can provide. it seemed like a lot of the goodness of the college life (friends together all the time, shared meals, etc.) with all of the goodness of the church (formal worship, communion, prayer...i don't know if they have sermons, though?). any other church experience seems like it will pale in comparison. i'm starting to think that a church experience that is not also a community experience is not a real church experience.

so what does that mean for me? do i try to start my own church/community? here are some possible problems with that idea:

1. i don't have a house. a central meeting place is pretty important, it seems.
2. i don't know a whole lot of people, if anyone, who would also be interested in doing that.
3. theologically, i don't even know if that's okay for me to start some gathering a call it my church. my catholic friend jon would probably stop being my friend.

there are several other reasons, but you get the gist. another option is going to grace. here's the main problem with that: it doesn't seem like a real community. it seems like one of those places people go on sunday and where the ones who are really involved hang out with each other every few weeks. this isn't just a problem with grace, but really just about every church in our area.

then there's the salvation army option and the ebc option. i could make long pros and cons list for all of these possibilities, but that sounds a little boring for public consumption.

maybe the real question here is should i be posting this on losetouch where people could actually respond? maybe this is another reason why i shouldn't blog.

are blogs the devil?

2006-04-08T09:11:00.000-04:00

well, it's saturday morning and i'm at school. the principal decided not to schedule in any snow days this year, but rather make them up on saturdays. almost no kids show up to these days, so i'd rather come in for a few hours on a saturday than have to come in a couple extra days at the end of the school year. tiffany heartily disagrees.

on another note, i'm still not sure about blogging. i could compare this situation to eating meat or going to wendy's. i do it sometimes (well, eating meat frequently, but it's rare that i eat fast food), but there's always inner turmoil. "ryan, you realize what kind of industry you're supporting, don't you?" "ryan, why are you so weak willed?" "ryan, you know what those slaughter-houses are like, right?" "ryan, God didn't tell you to 'rise up, kill and eat.'" "ryan, Jesus hates you." blogging conjures up similar kinds of feelings.

blogs encourage everyone to spend more time on their computers...more time away from people and nature. also, as phil has pointed out, often people have this ridiculous idea that they are really connecting with you by reading your blog. or they think they can actually "stay in touch" with you by going to your website. it's a sad lie that destroys countless families and communities.

on the other hand, someone might say, "but what about people that can't see you? isn't it a good way for them to stay in touch, even if on a meager, sub-human level?" i suppose. but it seems to add to the overall sense that it doesn't matter how close you are to me because technology will magically keep us connected. do i want to add to that sense by allowing people to read my blog and feel like they're "in touch" with me? am i not encouraging the lie to continue by keeping up this blog? and even if i'm not encouraging it, i'm certainly not raging against it, right? i don't know.

i miss my family and my friends.

2006-04-07T23:08:00.000-04:00

www.harlanhubbard.com

2006-04-07T17:49:00.000-04:00

In an attempt to be hip, I've created this blog. Unfortunately, having a blog was only hip about seven years ago.