Blogs are the Devil

we had tiffany's brother (mike) and grandmother (grandmama) over for dinner last night. after grandmama (yes, that's what we call her) left, tiffany and i and mike had this really meaningful talk about Christianity and church and what it means to "move forward" in your own Christianity. mike really opened up about how he feels about things. he told us that we were some of the only people he knows that are able to be Christians and still be cool. i don't know exactly what that means, but i think i kind of understand. i think it's something like being a Christian without being awkward and over-spiritual and such. so being an evangelical, pretty much.

being told that, for me, conjures up much inner denial because i know of what a bastard i am. much of my realization of what (i think) Christianity is supposed to look like does not actually translate into my everyday life. probably most of it. and, as i was discussing with krissy the other day, reminds me that much of the "progression" i've had in terms of my own Christianity has been on accident, so to speak. how much of my knowledge of the Bible and what it truly means to be a Christian is a result of a passion to know Christ and how much of it has simply been being lucky enough to be around some really great people? how much of it has just been the priviledge of having religious schooling?

and yet a conversation like last night's is also very encouraging. in hopefully not a prideful sense, i do sort of feel like i've got a pretty good grasp on the Bible and Christianity (the scary thing about that is that's also the way i felt after my first year of word of life). maybe i'll find out in eternity that i really don't (maybe i've gone too far in the other direction and am not "peculiar" enough), but i feel very priviledged to not have followed down the Christian path that so many people do.

my friend jon actually told me something similar not that long ago. something like, "how did you go through the ultra-conservative schooling and upbringing that you had and still end up having so many level-headed perspectives?" my answer to him was just that i've ended up following the paths that i've found attractive. simple as that. the super-conservative ways never seemed like attractive ways of living, so i've looked for alternatives. and ultimately those alternatives have been embodied in many of my friends and mentors. i really can't take much of the credit.